If These Walls Could Talk
by Thomas A. Habib, Ph.D.

Did Your Spouse Just Walk Out on You?

We may be able to save your marriage or relationship.

But first...

1. Do not contact your spouse.

2. For now, do not let them see your pain or sadness. They cannot handle it and creating feelings of duty or guilt could be driving them further away.

3. If he/she calls you, say to him, stoically, "I don’t know what I want anymore."

4. Schedule a telephone or office visit ASAP and indicate "My spouse just walked out on me."

This intervention is designed to give the dissolving marriage a final opportunity to rebuild. The success of this intervention is dependent upon the psychologist quickly assessing the relationship dynamics and prescribing a dramatic behavior change to signal the separating spouse that the marriage is not hopeless. This intervention is indicated if you just discovered an affair or if you just learned your spouse wants to dissolve the union. If you have already contacted them, call us anyways.

We know the pain you are feeling right now. The thoughts are with you from the moment you awaken. You likely feel sick to your stomach. You have lost your appetite, your sleep is agitated, you feel fearful and alone. We can help.


Has There Been an Extra Marital Affair?

Extra marital affairs are painful betrayal’s that may signal a marriage is about to end or merely that it needs work. It is a promising sign if your spouse is reacting with sorrow and apology. If they are saying that they do not know what they want, than follow the instructions above under Did your Spouse Just Walk Out on You?

Affairs are very painful and difficult to work through. The lost of trust and the inevitable comparisons to our spouses companion makes this an exhausting and depressive time. The majority of these marriages can be saved. When this work is completed couples are often aware that their marriage is stronger and more satisfying than it was prior to the crisis.

Is Your Child Going to be Suspended from School?
Is your Child Out of Control?

There can be multiple reasons why your child is a behavior problem at school or at home. These may include inadequate parental authority, authoritarian parenting, marital conflict or divorce, ADHD, or depression. We are very good at making these reads and providing treatments that work. We’ve had a lot of success with showing the parents how they can help at home in the treatment of these children. Pre Schoolers are easier to help than the high school student. Nevertheless, we can help you with both. Please do not wait until these situations become worse.


Did You Just Discover Your Child is Using Drugs or Alcohol?

The use of drugs and alcohol by a child can signal more serious problems. They often include some of the family problems cited above. Obviously, all drugs are cause for alarm but the type of drug and the age of the child must be addressed immediately. We will coordinate counseling, drug testing, and referral to group programs when needed by your child or spouse.

Please contact Dr. Habib at
(949) 248-7411, Ext. 101
with a brief description of the crisis.